


Are Pine Needles a Flower?

by felixnavidad_02



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Eggsy is the source of many of them with his meddling, Florist AU, Like. Too Many Puns For This Series To Ever Be Remotely Serious, Literally As Far Away From Canon As It Can Be, M/M, Roxy is just tired at this point, Soft Pining and Shenanigans, oops nevermind i made it serious, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-03-14 17:19:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 8,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13594731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felixnavidad_02/pseuds/felixnavidad_02
Summary: What happens when Merlin, the grumpy florist who works magic over at Blue Moon Blooms, hires Harry Hart? An immediate and overwhelming crush, in his experience. And what happens when the two of them are hired for the Spencer-Hall wedding in November? Absolutely nothing good.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter Summary: Regrets, metaphorical aerial stunts of the heart, and the beginning of a new leaf for Blue Moon Blooms.

Merlin’s regret had only lasted for about two days before it had quickly faded to something even worse, in his opinion.

At the beginning, his decision had been fueled by necessity, yet also filled with despair. For most of his little flower shop’s existence, he had a slowly trickling stream of customers who needed flowers for weddings, funerals, birthdays, and other events along those lines. This was fine, of course, he didn’t need too much action to have steady sales and keep the shop afloat.

Of course, wouldn’t that have been  _just too easy_? The other flower shop in the area, ‘The Green Thumb Florist’, (or something like that), the owner had to close up shop. And while Merlin wouldn’t have normally considered the loss of competition to be a bad thing, it did upset his status quo rather dramatically.

Merlin probably should have seen all of it coming, really. Obviously the regulars from Green Thumb would still need flowers for… whatever events they needed flowers for, and so clearly they’d choose to go to the next place in proximity. For the most part, this happened to be Blue Moon Blooms, which made his so-called trickling stream become a raging waterfall, stranding his usual routine in the middle of a flash flood.

He stood defeated in the doorway of his shop, Help Wanted sign in hand. Merlin knew that he’d already lost to reason, but that didn’t stop his emotions from attempting to climb out of the burning rubble in his mind, crushed by logic but not willing to be subdued, the sense of normalcy crying out as he exasperatedly placed the sign in the window.

Around this general time was when Merlin had the pleasure of meeting Harry Hart. Immediately as the man walked in and inquired about the job opening one morning, Merlin’s heart soared and exclaimed that  _this was all actually a wonderful idea after all, never mind how it complained before_! And while usually it would be against every single one of his morals to willingly hire such a pure soul (as he knew firsthand how this job corrupted pure souls), Harry had a way about him. This 'way’ involved a mixture of confidence and adorableness that was generally found in cat videos where the housecat tries to jump from one surface to another, but then fails and pretends it meant to do that.

Also, Hart was the only person to attempt the offer. And Merlin was, how did he phrase it again? Ah. Very, very desperate.

Nearly immediately, Merlin realized how much of a horrible decision it was already. This man was everything he remembered from how he used to be, everything he wished he’d stayed and more, and just overall immensely charming. And he’d have to go and work with this man for the foreseeable future. His heart leapt out of a figurative airplane at that thought, in a mix of excitement and terror and other similar emotions he couldn’t begin to describe.

Yep. He still absolutely agreed with his earlier sentiment. This was already so, so much worse than his previous regrets for the way the shop used to be a one-man job.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Unofficially official wedding planners, an arguably nonexistent package deal, and rules that were made to be broken.

Roxy Morton had been furiously scouring the internet for about two hours straight, now.

The recent events that had occurred were stellar, spectacular, amazing, fabulous, and about fifty other words that meant the exact same thing. Ah, that sounded almost sarcastic. It wasn’t meant sarcastically, truly, it was wonderful that James had finally proposed to Cecil… but the date they were planning it for was eight months from now, and Roxy had quickly taken up the role as an unofficially official wedding planner.

One of the websites she’d found had a convenient checklist for what she’d need to do to plan the wedding and when it should all happen. She did have to modify it slightly, since the website assumed that James and Cecil were a heterosexual couple who were significantly less extra and had a longer engagement length of sixteen months, but it still worked as a base plan.

Roxy sighed and pressed her eyes shut. She’d probably passed the point of no return a while back, and continuing would do nothing for her, but still she argued with the side of herself that wanted to take a break for a bit.  _Pausing would only waste time, she only had a few months!_  Opening up her Skype tab, she decided to go with something that could technically count as both.

Eggsy picked up on the second ring, as usual. “Hey Rox,” he said, as the video buffered.

Roxy took a sip of her glass of water. After a long pause and a deep breath, she said, “Eggsy, help me. James proposed to Cecil – fucking finally – and now I’m stuck as their wedding planner, and I have been researching for too long to be helpful at all.”

“And… You want me to help how? Can’t save ya from your own determination.” A half-joking smile played with Eggsy’s lip as he said it.

“You’ve done the photography for weddings before, right? I’ve been searching for photographers and I can’t find anyone local,” Roxy said.

“I have done, yeah. This your way of askin’ your best mate to do you a solid and be the photographer for a wedding you’re planning? ‘Cause it ain’t exactly a good idea, Rox, I ain’t a professional by any means here.”

“Please, Eggsy.” It came out closer to begging than Roxy meant it, with the desperation in her voice punctuating the end of the sentence as an afterthought.

“I mean, if you’re sure, I’ll do it, but I can’t recommend it in good conscience. You’ll end up with the least competent photographer.” Eggsy smirked, clearly finding his self-deprecation to be the height of humor.

“Thank you! I owe you one, that’s going to make the search so much easier! Now I need to think about a caterer, a florist, figure out the music-”

“Hey, calm down with the planning. You got time, Roxy. You’re gonna burn yourself out.” Eggsy advised, as Roxy took a deep breath to calm her mind currently racing with the tasks still needing undertaking in the to-do list. After an idle pause, Eggsy appeared to realize something, and continued with, “Wait, wait, you said you still need a florist?”

Roxy nodded, raising an eyebrow as a way of signaling Eggsy to continue with whatever train of thought he was following at the moment.

“Check out Blue Moon Blooms, the flower shop across the street from my studio. Run by this bloke called Merlin, he’s this bald angry Scottish guy who does some damn good flower arrangements. I do the photos for his social media, I’d know. I think that he and I are a bit of a package deal, like if you got me for the wedding, you gotta hire him too.”

“Are you actually a package deal, or are you just exaggerating?” She heavily suspected it was the latter, but she offered Eggsy the benefit of the doubt.

“We are!” Eggsy said, mock-offended by her having to ask. She chuckled a bit.

“You so are not,” Roxy said through a grin as Eggsy feigned an even more offended look. She cut through the banter and continued slightly more seriously with, “I will check the place out, though, in case you’re on to something.”

She picked up her glass of water, making a mental note… until she remembered something and put the glass down. “Hold on a minute, did you say his name was Merlin? You know a man named Merlin? It isn’t a moniker or anything?”

“I- I ain’t sure actually,” Eggsy said, more than a little confused at the situation. “I’m pretty sure it is, but I’m too intimidated to ask him ‘bout it.”

Roxy would take that as an answer. “Alright then,” she said. After a second, one of the actual reasons she’d called Eggsy popped into her head, so she changed the topic.

“I wanted to say, by the way, your no-matchmaking rule is absolutely still in effect.” He opened his mouth, maybe in protest, or maybe to ask why she still thought he was such a meddler, but she cut him off before he could say anything. “No, Eggsy, I know you. I know you’re gonna find some excuse to match up one of James’s party with some friend of yours, but it never ends well!”

“Name  _one time_  it didn’t end well,” Eggsy said, scoffing.

“Charlie was so much of a prick that he was practically a porcupine, and Amelia was a fucking lesbian, Eggsy! You’re not good at meddling, the rule is not going away,” Roxy countered, deadpan expression on her face.

Eggsy’s face flushed at the mention of it, embarrassed. “In my defense, Rox, I didn’t know that! Besides, some of your rules are meant to be broken.”

“No matchmaking, Eggsy. I know this wedding is going to make you want to, but  _no_.”


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: A literal human ray of sunshine, hearsay about meetings going off without a hitch, and Baby’s First Sarcastic Comment.

_Oh, God, Harry Hart was a literal ray of sunshine._

Merlin would have said how he realized this, pondering in silence as the thoughts dotted the air in his mindscape, but things really weren’t silent at Blue Moon Blooms anymore. Aside from the normal non-silence, that was.

Sure, the occasional sounds of traffic and other such from the streets outside provided some sense of normalcy, along with the indecisive discussions of various customers on whether they should get roses or carnations for their step-mother’s birthday. (As for the question: Merlin would always, always advise roses. Carnations were funeral flowers, more often than not. Unless you wanted a creative and witty way to wish death and destruction on your step-mother, best to go with the stereotype of roses.)

Harry had actually introduced this new non-silence in the form of a playlist of gentle instrumentals, which consisted mostly acoustic guitar, but also with the occasional piano song for a bit of variety. Merlin, being as technically inclined as he was, hooked up a Bluetooth speaker on one of the shelves, and set the playlist on shuffle for a consistent repeat. (While being technically inclined wasn’t actually required to be able to do this, Merlin wanted an excuse to call himself a ‘technical wizard’. He would never mention this was why he phrased it like this, but it certainly was.) And, while Merlin preferred John Denver and had told Harry as much, he had to admit that the playlist did make the shop quite a bit more pleasant. In any case, it was never silent, and it served as a consistent reminder that Harry was practically everything that Merlin himself used to be, which Merlin adored and despaired about equally.

Snapping back to the present time, Merlin realized he should probably actually do something. Entering quietly from the back door, he watched as Eggsy came into the shop from the front entrance, bells chiming to signify it. Ah, right on schedule, assuming the schedule was entirely unscheduled whatsoever. (Eggsy had a habit of just dropping by sometimes. It was unclear whether or not this was worse than Harry’s habit of being at least five minutes late to everything… though more often than not, five minutes was generous.)

Now, eavesdropping was bad. Merlin wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. Well, that wouldn’t actually stop him from doing it this once.

“Harry! Hey, how’d the meeting with Roxy go?” Eggsy said, poking around at the shelves of flowers. “No pressure, mate, but I did tell Roxy that we were all a bit of a package deal, so it kind of had to go without a hitch.”

Harry glanced up from where he was idly trimming stems. “I’m not sure I’d be able to give much more than hearsay, I wasn’t actually there for the meeting. Although, given the context, I can assume that the only hitch going off will be at the wedding, when James Spencer and Cecil Hall 'get hitched’.” From the doorway, Merlin exhaled audibly in reaction to this. “Ah, Merlin, do you mind filling us in? How did the meeting go?”

“It went well,” Merlin said, ever so slightly caught off guard, with lack of better words to describe. Choosing to elaborate, he continued with, “We’re now definitely the florists for the Spencer-Hall wedding, but this was just the preliminary meeting for her to see if we were the right fit. We’ll actually know more when she gets in touch with us about the specifics of the arrangements.”

“Alright,” Harry said, nodding slightly. “Merlin, do you mind if I borrow the keys to your flat for a moment?”

“What for?” Merlin asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I plan to steal all of your precious belongings and valuables. It will be completely empty when I’m finished with it,” Harry said, deadpan. A few moments later, he said in all seriousness, “I’d like to make some tea in your little kitchenette.” Merlin tossed the keys towards him, suppressing a smirk while glancing at Eggsy.

As Harry disappeared into the second floor, Merlin searched behind the desk until he found what he was looking for. Eggsy had followed him, silently preparing their plot (which, for the record, was mostly Eggsy’s plot,) in their very short window of time.

After just a few minutes, Harry’s footsteps in the stairwell echoed slightly. Eggsy wore a maniacal grin, tossing some streamers in the air as his unsuspecting target entered with two cups of tea. Eggsy followed this immediately with, “Oh, Harry, we’re so proud of you!”

Harry blinked in confusion. “What is happening?”

“Baby’s first sarcastic comment! It’s really worth celebrating!” This was left out in the open, as if it actually made the events make sense.

“Have- have you been planning this?” Harry exclaimed, clearly fazed by the sudden celebration.

“Well, yes,” Merlin stated, matter-of-factly. Eggsy continued laughing in the background as Harry muttered, “ _Oh, dear God._ ”


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: The Rule of Matchmaking, bouquets of things that aren’t technically flowers, and one incredibly exasperated wedding planner.

Eggsy didn’t pretend to be flawless at matchmaking. Well, okay, he’d admit that he did sometimes, but he was still peripherally aware of mistakes he’d made in the past. Despite this fact, Eggsy had a pretty strong sense of when people really,  _really_  should be together. 

For instance, Merlin and Harry. Screw Roxy’s rule. He was getting those two together, no matter what. Considering what it was that Harry was terrible at lying about, it really couldn’t be that hard. Could it?

There was only one way to find out. Eggsy’s current plan involved being… very unsubtle. Pose the question in a joke to Merlin, see how he responded, and then plan around that. It definitely had a lot more thought put into it than some of his earlier matchmaking plans. 

Of course, this plan fell apart immediately when Eggsy went to Blue Moon Blooms only to find the floral wizard leaving in a decidedly stressed huff.  

“What’s going on with Merlin? He looked determined to get the fuck out of here,” Eggsy gestured away as he walked into the shop. 

“He’s going to go set James Spencer on fire, I imagine,” Harry replied, carefully setting down a cup of tea. 

“Do I want to know?” Eggsy asked. 

“He wants lilacs for his wedding in November. They’re practically out by two seasons,” Harry elaborated. “A word of advice: if you’re going to go for flowers ridiculously out of season for your wedding, your florist is absolutely allowed to murder you.” 

Eggsy seriously doubted the validity of that statement. “Actually, it’s great that Merlin’s out of the way though, I wanted to ask you something. Y'know, get a professional florist’s opinion.” 

“Merlin would actually probably be better to ask, in that case,” Harry said. 

“He wouldn’t give me a straight answer,” was what Eggsy supplied. He hoped he was decent at bluffing. 

“I very much doubt you’ll get a straight answer from me either,” Harry muttered softly, stifling a smile at his own joke. “Go ahead, though.” 

“So, are pine needles a flower?” 

“I’m certain they’re not, Eggsy. Why?” 

“Oh, well, I was thinking, you could make Merlin a big bouquet of pine needles and tell him that you was pining for him!” Eggsy smiled innocently as Harry practically choked on a sip of tea. Plan A was going better than he’d thought it would! 

“I’ve absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” Harry replied through a cough, incredibly flustered. 

“Sure you don’t,” Eggsy said. “I mean, it ain’t like Merlin’s not available, and he’s been open about his sexuality practically ever since I’ve known him.” 

Harry looked like he was about to say something, probably another terrible lie to try his cover, but then sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Even gay men have standards, Eggsy. I’m… wholeheartedly certain that I’d fulfill none of his. It’s better if he doesn’t know.” 

“Wow. That was so wrong. But hey, can’t force you to tell him, I’m just putting it out there that he’d probably consider it.” Eggsy is more than sure that Merlin would probably do a lot more than just ‘consider’ it, but he’s already done what he needed to do here. Now to inform Roxy of his amazing reasons for breaking her rule. Maybe she’d even join his cause! Well, that was the optimistic thought. The realistic thought, the one that would have been correct, is that the text conversation would go like this.

_[10:14] Eggsy: roxy i think i gotta break ur rule of matchmaking_

_[10:14] Roxy: No, Eggsy_

_[10:15] Eggsy: roxyyyy!! ur florists are MEANT TO BE._

_[10:15] Roxy: If they’re not already in a relationship, then it’s really not your place to judge._

_[10:15] Eggsy: no seriously rox, harry legit just confessed to me abt it. (after some meddling bc i saw RIGHT THROUGH HIM, hes such a shit liar). plus i know merlin, even though he tries to be all intimidating, i know he’s TOTALLY into harry_

_[10:16] Eggsy: its rly not as unrequited as they both think!_

_[10:16] Roxy: EGGSY. Please stop harassing the florists!_

_[10:16] Eggsy: im getting these two together, u cant stop me_

_[10:17] Roxy: …I don’t support this at all._


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Pine needle tea, lilacs in November, and toeing the line between thinking and overthinking.

_Oh, for God’s sake, get your shit together, Harry._

There was a line between thinking and overthinking and he had definitely crossed it.

He wasn’t exactly sure when he crossed it, since it really depended on where you drew the line, didn’t it? If the line was when you spent more than 24 hours thinking about something, he was long gone. But if the line was when you took action based off of whatever it is, well, he was… less long gone? Perhaps it would be more comparable to medium gone.

In any case, it meant nothing that he’d ordered pine needle tea. It wasn’t for the pun. Pine needle tea was good for vitamin C. He was just being cautious, he reasoned quietly to himself. Nobody wants their boss to get scurvy.

Their incredibly attractive boss with the hottest Scottish accent which made Harry want to implode, on occasion.

…Fuck.

Okay, so maybe it was a little bit because of the pun, and maybe it meant a little more than nothing. Still, it had to come out eventually. It’d be best if he could, at least… joke about it. Even if a would-be lepidopterist who was mostly blind in his left eye had no chance of meeting any of Merlin’s standards.

Harry Hart was overthinking and he had brewed pine needle tea, and these events were directly linked, no avoiding it.

Plan A. Introduce the tea, introduce the pun, say the pun if he’s feeling confident, and then either instant gratification or instant regret. Likely the latter, but there was no time for dwelling now.

He’d given Merlin the tea. The plan was in action. Pretending to act casual, Harry leaned on the desk. A few seconds later, he realized he had never done this in his life, so this would be the least casual thing he could do in this situation, so he quickly stood upright and sipped his own tea to cover.

“Well, this is new,” Merlin remarked.

“Yes, it certainly is,” Harry said. “It’s a mix of pine needles with some lemon and honey mixed in for taste.”

“It’s… actually very good.”

_I chose it because I’m pining for you_ , was one thing Harry could have said. Of course, this would have taken unrealistic amounts of confidence, so he actually decided on the spot to abort his plan A. Plan B: divert the conversation to hell and back.

“Oh, I almost forgot. I found a place that can manage lilacs in November. It’ll still be quite a lot of the budget down the drain, but we can work with it, I think!” Harry would gladly ignore the fact that his motivations for this were very closely interlinked to the overthinking bit.

Merlin blinked at him, the ghost of a smile making its way onto his face. “I could kiss you right now.”

_God yes, please do that_ , was another thing Harry could have said. What Harry actually said was… nothing. Instead, he sipped his own cup of tea and considered the logistics of the aforementioned imploding.

With how he handled this plan, he probably would have been the worst spy in the world.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: That one phrase about assumptions, two unrealistically oblivious florists, and a tipping point.

James Spencer wouldn't exactly call himself an expert at dating. Yes, he was engaged to his lovely fiancé, but he had absolutely no idea how he'd managed to get so lucky, so that negated all the impact this would have had. Nevertheless, James thought he likely knew enough to know when two people were obviously together.

For example, the two florists Roxy had recommended and then subsequently hired for his wedding. Harry Hart and Hamish… probably Hart as well. (He'd admit that he didn't exactly pay attention when Roxy mentioned his surname so he wasn't certain, but James considered it a good guess.)

Sure, he only met the two a few hours ago, but it wasn't as if they were vague about it. He could see the way that Harry looked at Hamish. The way he did it with such genuine happiness and affection actually reminded James quite a bit about how he had first started acting with Cecil. He really would be quite a hypocrite if he judged Harry for acting like a flustered schoolboy around his crush.

From what James had gathered, Hamish didn't show his affection in the same way, but he picked up on other signs. The majority of the time, the floral wizard (an epithet he had heard Roxy mention once or twice) would be walking side-by-side on Harry's left side. He'd even be gently leading Harry with a hand on his arm, to boot. At first, he would have written this off as a coincidence, but the two had done it multiple times, both expecting it as routine. They were used to it. All signs pointed to married florists who were being a little more relaxed about PDA because they were working for another gay couple's wedding.

Of course, this was all happening as James was letting his mind wander. Blinking back to reality, he was greeted with the sight of… yet another country club. Look at one of those, and he's looked at them all. He was aware this sounded a tad pessimistic, really, it had positives to the negative of it being rather generic. Obviously it did, otherwise he wouldn't have agreed that it was his favorite. The main positive was it would look beautiful with the planned decorations, especially with the color scheme of his recommended floral arrangements. (This was likely what Harry and Hamish were discussing across the room. Harry placed his hand on the small of Hamish's back and had smiled lightly mid-discussion. They were absolutely insufferable, in the same sense that Roxy had described James and how he acted with Cecil as this. Really, he had no place to say any of this.)

"When's _their_ wedding anniversary?" James remarked to the photographer (James more or less recalled his name as Eggsy) as he vaguely gestured towards the florists. This statement spurned Eggsy to let out a long sigh of disbelief. Turns out, that one phrase about assumptions making an ass out of you really did hold some truth in James's experience.

"Mate, I am _trying_. Those two aren't cooperating." Eggsy rolled his eyes in frustration.

"…Didn't you only try phase one? The pining pun, if I recall." Roxy interjected, coming up from behind the two of them. "Convenient place to say this, though. This area has a stunning view, and we should definitely incorporate it into the wedding pictures."

Eggsy nodded. "Phase one was my only plan. I didn't think I'd need a phase two! The pun usually works." He paused for a moment. "Good eye, though, Rox. It'd make a nice scene for some of the shots of the ceremony." 

"Wait, let me get this straight," Roxy said. "You built your entire plan to get the two of them together on a single pun."

James replied, "I imagine none of this is very straight, Roxy," under his breath at the same time Eggsy said, "Well, yeah, kinda!"

"Oh my God. You're the least competent matchmaker." Roxy said, incredulous. "Fine. I'm in. How do I help you get Harry and Merlin to start dating?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I Can't Believe They Aren't Married!® - James Spencer in this chapter. (Same, James. Same.) 
> 
> Off-screen tidbit: Merlin knows about the fact that Harry is mostly blind in his left eye (which I think is mentioned in chapter 5? Am I a terrible writer for not remembering this off the top of my head?) which is why he always takes Harry's left side when they're walking together. He has no excuse, though, for why he's always doing the hand-on-Harry's-arm thing which James notices. That bit is only because of his massive crush. Likewise, Harry has no excuse for doing the heart-eyes thing.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: An unfortunately overheard exchanging of words.

Harry would tell anyone that one of the major rules he tried to follow was that he was never to eavesdrop. Eavesdropping was not a gentlemanly thing to do at all, it intruded on the privacy of others.   
  
Essentially, Harry would advise anyone to be better than him. If he were to try to defend his actions, he'd probably start by saying that it all started innocently enough, but he thought intentions mattered little compared to the actions put out into the world.   
  
His innocent beginning was that he had only meant to provide any help that Merlin and James may have needed from him. He'd imagined that this probably would have been making note of any minor changes that James wanted for the sample arrangements, had he actually done any of this. Well, instead, James had started a conversation with Merlin. Harry hadn't meant to stay for it... until he _did_ mean to stay for it.   
  
Harry wished that he had at least given it a second thought before immediately deciding to stick around. For one, it would have probably cleared his conscience, and for the second, he probably wouldn't feel like he had been personally rejected. (Despite the fact that this was neither personal nor an actual rejection. Harry could be aware of the facts and still have feelings conflicting with them.)   
  
"So," James had started, and Harry was almost about to walk into the room and into sight before James continued, "What is it with you and Harry?" He'd stopped in his tracks at this, wholly intending to leave the others to their devices.   
  
"How do you mean?" Merlin responded to this. Harry paused. It wouldn't have been eavesdropping if he had left now, it would have just been a brief overheard exchanging of words. Nothing more, nothing less.  
  
It became _eavesdropping_ when James had said something to the extent of, "Well, are you going to ask him on a date?" Harry's heart immediately stopped beating for a few moments, until it started again with a fierce passion. This was when he decided that he probably needed to hear this. (Morally, he didn't and therefore he absolutely shouldn't have, but the curiosity drove him to stay.)   
  
"What?" Merlin replied, rather quickly. It hadn't been out of a flustered confusion. Just deadpan dubiety.   
  
"Ah, you... you are interested, aren't you?" James said, cautiously.   
  
(It would have been completely cliche and completely accurate for Harry to say that these were the longest few moments of his life, waiting with bated breath.)   
  
"Not necessarily," Merlin said, and probably elaborated with something else. Harry couldn't care to pick out the words at that point, barely tuned into the world. He truly didn't expect anything to the opposite. He couldn't always be the optimist, and he was always following a trend of being rather unlucky in the matters of love.   
  
Really, he was only shocked by the fact that James had picked up on something and mentioned it. Initially, Harry had just wanted to acknowledge his attraction and then tuck it gently in the back of his mind. Then, he could liken it to a footnote in his life and move on. Now, it was a thought that existed in other minds, gaining traction for itself. This really wasn't ideal.   
  
Oh, no. Harry really _was_ screwed, wasn't he?


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Crashing through a metaphorical brick wall.

As a silver lining, the wedding was _lovely_. That was probably the only good part about the situation Harry had put himself in, though.

Around the room, candles flickered gently. It was a damn miracle that they hadn't burned the venue to the ground, which was actually one of Harry's main worries. Calamities weren't exactly ideal. The music and conversation had a blurry and fuzzy air to it, the hazy film laying a dreamy filter on every breath he took.

Harry's hesitation made up a brick wall. Each of his reasons to stop in his tracks were etched in separate bricks, and together they all kept him from making any rash decisions. But it was a wedding. What was he supposed to do? Essentially, this was why he crashed through the brick wall, right to the other side.

He made his way through the maze of tables to get back to the one Merlin was seated at. Previously, Eggsy and Roxy had been there too, chatting, but the subject had turned rather uncomfortably to his and Merlin's respective love lives, so he said some small lies as excuses and left to get some fresh air on an upstairs balcony. At this point, he figured the coast was clear, with Roxy off to congratulate the grooms and Eggsy snapping photos of the reception as wedding photographers do.

Deep inside, Harry knew that this was the worst decision he could make right now. He knew all too well what the response would be, and he knew similarly as well that he wouldn't like it at all. But if there was any time to say something impulsive based on affairs of the heart, now would probably be the most fitting time to say it.

He took a sip of the ice-cold water, summoning his confidence. "Merlin, I have something I need to tell you."

Harry could hear a barely noticeable edge of concern in Merlin's voice as he spoke. "Okay... go ahead."

"Hamish, I have feelings for you." Harry tried to lighten the sincerity with vague gestures. "I know that romance isn't necessarily a priority for you, and romance with me specifically is probably much less so, but lying has been excruciating. I thought you deserved to know the truth."

Harry pondered briefly that if he were braver, he would stay to hear Merlin's response. Standing up again, though, he argued to himself that he'd already spent his boldness. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go... iron... my dog. That's not- I'm going to just leave before I say anything to make this more awkward than I've already made it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...
> 
> Hopefully, I'll have the next chapter out later this week so I don't leave you hanging off this damn cliff for too long. Theoretically, I could have done the next bit in this chapter too, but I have my reasons for waiting.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Merlin had made some bad decisions in his life. He regretted none more than the ones he made the night of the Spencer-Hall wedding. 
> 
> I'm so, so sorry. I meant to update this so much sooner than I did. Also, I'm fairly certain this is the first time I've used line breaks.

"Merls, is it really a good idea for you to be doing that?" Eggsy leaned against the wall next to front door of Blue Moon Blooms, fiddling with the sign in the window.

"I was just re-fit, I'll pace as much as I want to," Merlin said, wandering back and forth in front of the desk. "Besides, it's healthy, 'breaking them in' and such."

"That's for shoes. Probably different for prosthetic legs."

"The saying works the same if I choose to see the prostheses as elaborate shoes." Merlin paused mid-pace, and shot a pointed look at Eggsy. "And stop that with the sign. We're closed until further notice."

"I know the situation ain't exactly ideal, but it really could be a lot worse, all things considered."

"Could it? 'Maybe' is worse than 'no'." Eggsy raised his eyebrows at that, so Merlin continued. "'I don't know, maybe he'll be okay' is the unsustainable liminal space between yes and no. It'll collapse into one or the other eventually. 'Maybe' isn't definitive. 'No' is closure. It isn't positive closure, but it's closure."

"Merlin."

"Sue me, I want conclusive answers after something that was my fault."

-+-+-

Looking back on the night of the Spencer-Hall wedding, Merlin could pick out several mistakes in a row.

The first he could find was waiting. Normally, ambiance at a wedding was a good thing, but it had cut into his thoughts when he was already incredibly confused. He continued to be confused for a good fifteen seconds, by which time his so-called 'date' to the wedding had already muttered some half-arsed attempt at an excuse to exit and had dashed to the door of the dimly lit country club.

His next mistake was calling out, "What- Harry, wait!" A suffocating quiet had fallen over some of the tables near him, and he realized how unintentionally loud he had been. Merlin muttered out a few apologies, grabbing his cardigan and made his way out of the venue as well.

The atmosphere had a biting chill to it, probably because it was November, (God, Merlin would never forgive James for planning the wedding in _fucking_ November), and Merlin was intensely regretting his choice of leaving his jacket lying there on the rack at the shop. The memory taunted him, calling back in every breath visible in the palpably crisp air.

There were so, so many things that Merlin should have done that night. He should have brought his coat, he should have thought of words to say and faster, but no other "should" measured up to "Merlin should have stopped Harry from leaving at that particular time headed for that particular place".

Several things happened in rapid succession once Merlin had rushed to the exit. He'd seen Harry's car backing out of the parking lot of the club, his phone with Harry's number half-dialed had slipped out of his hand, and as he went to pick it up, well...

Harry probably hadn't even seen the other vehicle careening down the street before the Earth-shattering crash.

-+-+-

"Merlin. It wasn't--"

"I could have stopped him. Because of my inaction, he was at the wrong place at the wrong time." Merlin laughed, all the mirth in it drained from a few nights of insufficient sleep. "Ergo, my fault."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for this, dear readers, even though I do not deserve that. This chapter surprised me too.
> 
> If you're reading this, though, it means I'm already planning out and working on chapter 10, so it won't be another few weeks just to get hit by a plot twist in the form of another car barreling down the intersection. Too soon? Okay. Fair enough.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Somehow the drive to the hospital and the following wait in the aptly named waiting room had felt as if it happened in the blink of an eye and in the slow, dragging moments of eternity at the same time. 
> 
> I've really fucked with the continuity. This is set after the middle bit last chapter, but before the first and last bits, if that makes sense.

Optimism was slowly getting impossible.  
  
One of Eggsy's first thoughts upon meeting the floral wizard must have been something along the lines of, "This man has probably never had a positive thought in his life." Since then, he'd made it his goal to compensate, be an optimist enough for the both of them. And then blast-from-his-past Harry Hart walked right back into his life, chiming the bells on Merlin's open door, and he was exactly what Merlin needed, Eggsy just knew. And life was good. It could have been better, it could have been so much more. But it was _good_. That was what mattered.  
  
And then, everything fell apart in the span of five seconds as the wedding guests were pouring out in a slow, gradual trickle. Eggsy was fairly certain that something was wrong by the time Merlin had half-shouted for Harry and left the quieting-down reception in a rush, but he hadn't processed that something was going seriously wrong until he registered the intense and ominous crash.  
  
Merlin had been practically frozen in place when Eggsy, followed by an entourage consisting of James, Cecil, and Roxy, had rapidly made their way outside to the scene of the incident. Roxy had leapt into action and had phoned for an ambulance, bless her ever-quick thinking soul, but she was about the only person who managed to function at that point in time.  
  
The lack of attention paid to the passing of time did not, in fact, stop the passage of time. Somehow the drive to the hospital and the following wait in the aptly named waiting room had felt as if it happened in the blink of an eye and in the slow, dragging moments of eternity at the same time.  
  
Roxy and the rest of the so-called entourage had left around the time that the doctor-- Eggsy would eventually learn her name was Dr. Gingers, but not until far later in the ridiculously early morning-- had informed them that Harry was okay at the moment, but Eggsy and Merlin had stuck around. If he was still thinking about his ridiculous matchmaking plot, Eggsy would have maybe taken this as a sign.  
  
Eggsy was a hopeless romantic, he'd admit it. Sue him. All he had wanted with the matchmaking plan was to make Merlin and Harry happy. The two had their problems, but fighting figurative demons had to be easier with two instead of just one. (Not like Eggsy would know.) It all became a disaster, and he was so, so incredibly sorry.  
  
And he had apparently let as much slip out of his mouth, words rolling out from the fact that it was close to two in the morning and he had no bad decision filter after midnight. The waiting room was empty by then, the air too silent after his accidental monologue.  
  
"You have nothing to be sorry for," Merlin's voice pierced the air like a pocket knife. "I don't... I don't think you were wrong in your thoughts of me and Harry."  
  
"What- what do you mean?"  
  
"Just before, well, everything," Merlin gestured in the vague direction of a hospital wing, "Harry said a few things to me. About how he feels. About me."  
  
"Oh," Eggsy said. "Oh!"  
  
"Yeah." Merlin exhaled. "And I've been thinking, or maybe overthinking. I don't- I don't know how to go on from here. I'm not sure how I feel, and I'm not sure how I _want_ to feel... I used to be content just having him as a friend, but look where being content got me. A hospital waiting room at half-past two in the morning."  
  
"Oh, shit, it's really late. You should go home." Eggsy said. He gently left out the fact that he didn't intend to do the same.  
  
"I could never forgive myself if I left and something happened," Merlin muttered under his breath.  
  
"Nothing's gonna happen, Merlin." The promise in it was left implicit and unsaid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This made *me* sad. I'm very proud of and distressed by that fact.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Tuesdays were the days that felt the least like days.

Tuesdays were the days that felt the least like days.   
  
That was a normal thing, of course. Tuesdays were usually off. But ever since the night of the wedding, Tuesdays were somehow more like the walkway between Monday and Wednesday than even remotely day-ish. The twenty-four hours were wasted hours, each of the sixty minutes within those hours were wasted minutes. But hey, at least there was fucking brunch. Because brunch solved _everything_. Merlin had to just pretend as if everything was fine over some omelets and orange juice, and maybe it would be.   
  
He had told Eggsy and Roxy this in less words the previous week's terribly in-between and transitional Tuesday. Merlin doubted they believed that going out would actually do anything. Honestly, he just thought they saw through him and how he barely felt like a person with the shop on standby.   
  
"It's not as if my life revolves around Blue Moon Blooms, you two," Merlin recalled that he had said as he sipped the aforementioned orange juice. "I have a social life."  
  
That statement had elicited a _look_ from his companions, and he scoffed. "No, really. I do."   
  
"Merlin, this is in no way a statement against you as a person. But you spend all your time in one building and the one other friend that you have that isn't with us at the moment is literally unconscious at a hospital at the moment," Roxy said. Eggsy shrugged at this, and Merlin could practically hear him saying, "She isn't wrong," with his eyebrows.   
  
"You…" Merlin closed his eyes, sighed, and trailed off. "You really didn't have to remind me."  
  
"I'm sorry. I just meant that the fact of the matter is that you're not stopping your 'downward spiral' by not keeping up with the shop. It might be making you feel worse."   
  
If Merlin was being honest, Roxy was right. He didn't like being useless, and he was pretty damn useless lately.   
  
A few days after the crash, Merlin had actually gone out to the shop for some groceries, which was a damn achievement, trust him. He could have maybe handled it if literally anything else had happened. Unlucky him, Merlin absolutely had to run into one of his regulars, and so began the dreaded conversation.   
  
"Hamish, is that you?" Tricia Robinson had said, and he'd turned around at the mention of the name, pretending as if his eyes weren't trained on her for the past thirty seconds until he had busied himself with poking around some shelves and acting casual.   
  
"Oh, Miss Robinson, lovely to see you here!" It was not lovely to see her here. Merlin would have preferred to carve a knife out of the chocolate he'd just put in his basket and cut off his right arm than speak to her.   
  
"Where've you been, you silly goose? You've been closed a lot this week! Where am I going to get my succulents now?" Robinson joked, a grin taking up a solid half of her face.   
  
Oh, Jesus. "Er, well, I'm on a... bit of a hiatus of a length to be determined. See, something came up very abruptly, and I'm working through that." Merlin prayed to any and all Gods that he didn't believe in that she wouldn't push for more.   
  
"Oh, no! That's not great! What happened?" Her face had morphed into a confused concern. He didn't even think she knew that she was doing the exact opposite of what he had hoped.   
  
"My… friend was in an accident," Merlin responded to that. "He's in the hospital at the moment. I can't exactly run the shop without him, sorry for the inconvenience." He could have continued, "He's in critical condition and might die, and there are several reasons that I don't want this, including a few that I've lost sleep about. But I'm doing okay, I guess, don't worry." He didn't, though, and instead tuned out as Robinson said her condolences and he politely accepted and gracefully exited the conversation by tripping out of the aisle.   
  
It wasn't a great conversation. It wasn't a great anything, actually, but Merlin thought it was better to purposefully understate things lately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy. Another chapter in Merlin's continued downward spiral. I can only describe this in one word: _"yikes"_.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: The first thought Harry had was, he remembered this very explicitly, that he _really_ hoped he had an emergency contact, because this sure seemed like an emergency.

The first thought Harry had was, he remembered this very explicitly, that he _really_ hoped he had an emergency contact, because this sure seemed like an emergency.  
  
Or so he had gathered from just a few observations. Observation Set 1 included: beeping heart monitor, a hospital bed, and a sterile white ceiling.  
  
Observation Set 2: He definitely had a massive blind spot out of his left eye. This was no normal "legally blind which could be vaguely resolved with a pair of glasses" type of blind spot. No, no. This was distinctly abnormal and, well, it was concerning, to say the least.  
  
Assumptions were generally a mistake, but this had all the hallmarks of something that would be classified "emergency".  
  
Harry's mind was rather fuzzy about how he got here. Actually, it was fuzzy about where "here" was too. He was assuming he was correct in his guess that he was in an unspecific hospital, and he genuinely hoped said hospital was in London, since if it wasn't, he'd have a related problem that was much worse. ("Stranded, with bare minimum memory of the Spencer-Hall wedding reception but no idea what happened after, in a hospital that wasn't, in fact, in London" as opposed to "Stranded, with bare minimum memory of the wedding with no idea what happened after, in a hospital that was probably in London".)  
  
Harry tried to organize what he recalled from the night of November 26th into a vague string of events. He tried to get the chronology right, though he didn’t see the point.  
  
Harry had attempted, briefly, to get Merlin to wear a suit to the wedding, all while Merlin had protested and compromised with a dress shirt and one of the jumpers he usually draped around his shoulders.  
  
Harry also remembered the drive to the "generic country club" as James had described it once. (He had the sneaking suspicion that it was Cecil who had chosen the venue, but that wasn't important.) He'd won the right to be designated driver, since "very nearsighted in left eye" was apparently enough to validate Merlin guiding him, but not enough to not have to drive places. (Harry fussed about it at the time, but he didn't mind.)  
  
He vaguely recalled the ceremony. (James had cried. His husband hadn't.) And then he got to the reception.  
  
His memory of _a part_ of the reception was a bit too vivid for his liking. He rather wished he didn't remember as much as he did. Or maybe he should have wished for a time machine, so he could go back and deck himself in the face.  
  
Thankfully, around then was when a distraction from his thoughts came in as a godsend of one "Dr. Elizabeth Gingers" (according to her name tag) with an American accent-- which briefly terrified him, considering his concern of "Holy shit, I could be anywhere at the moment and I would have no idea"-- who had said something along the lines of, "Hello, mister Hart, you've been unconscious in a coma for about two weeks, how are you feeling?"  
  
Harry had felt like the answer should have been mumbled groaning. He said he was feeling fine, though. Fine was, as usual, a lie word. He already wasn't the best at lying, though, and his voice was strained and cracked a bit as he attempted to get the word out. Gingers definitely saw through him.  
  
Follow-up questions came and went. Dr. Gingers had gone over his "laundry list of injuries, if you will" (her gentle voice and her metaphors were probably intended as a calming mechanism, and it served the purpose well), which was: vocal cord paralysis, internal bleeding, a minor skull fracture, a pretty serious cut to the chest from some broken metal and glass, and some optic nerve damage in the left eye that Harry had already noticed.  
  
It was about that time that Harry thought that it would probably be a good idea to avoid getting into car crashes in the future. Which was, apparently, what had happened. Just Harry's luck that he'd get his car rammed by a drunk driver after being destined to fail in his most recent venture of love. It was almost funny.  
  
-+-+-  
  
"You officially never get to be designated driver again."  
  
Harry chuckled. "I suppose I've proven that I'm irredeemably irresponsible," he succeeded in saying. His voice worked if he forced it a bit, only causing it to be more or less hoarse and breathy. This was most _definitely_ not healthy, but he'd rather lose his voice further than give up.  
  
"Yeah, you- you really have," Merlin said, giving a weak, concerned smile.  
  
"Shit, I _crashed the car_. Beyond the point of no return, if I may add. How'd you get home from the wedding?"  
  
"I avoided that problem by just... not going home." Merlin laughed at Harry's mildly horrified expression, an air of dryness in it. "I know. Shit at self-care. That's just the effect of something you're _really_ not ready for happening."  
  
"That's the irony of life," Harry said. "The minute you realize how unprepared you are, it sends you a curveball."  
  
"Speaking of things we definitely weren't prepared for..." Merlin said, eyebrows raised. "You said some things at the wedding."  
  
Oh no. "That... is a fact, yes. I said things. And I regret a fair amount of them. Please forget they ever happened."  
  
Merlin gave Harry his trademark pointed look, and Harry shifted to avert his gaze. "Harry, do you actually want me to forget about it? Because it might be good to actually, say, talk about it."  
  
"I was thinking earlier, 'I never want to get hit by a car again.' I'm going to redact that now. Please, run me over." Harry joked, an obvious non-answer even to his own ears.  
  
" _Harry_." Harry's smile faded instantly. "Your problem is that you never let me get a damn sentence out. What I was going to say is that I'm a dim-witted asshole."  
  
"You... what now?"  
  
"I'm not good at relationships. That's why I'm single and own a fucking flower shop at fifty-four. But I... I like you a lot, Harry. And I think you're worth any risks. So... do you want to grab a coffee sometime, or did the whole car crash thing change your mind?"  
  
"Hamish, are you genuinely asking me out while I'm in the hospital?"  
  
"I'm... I'm taking a risk here. Just said you were worth those." Merlin sighed. "It's yes or no."  
  
"Merlin, I'm, quite frankly, a massive disaster." _You know, the kind who makes a bad decision and gets himself into a damn car crash to avoid talking about his feelings for too long._ "Are you sure about this?"  
  
"I've been planning how to ask you that for the thirteen days you were in a coma, Harry. Yes, I'm sure."  
  
"Well, if that's the case," Harry smiled. "Yes, I'd absolutely like to go on a date with you. After I get out of the hospital. I hope you don't mind waiting."  
  
"I think I can be patient for a little while longer." A grin spread across Merlin's face, matching Harry's. "Maybe. I'll try."  
  
Harry had already crashed through his brick wall. What was one more step? "Would it help if we kissed right now?"  
  
He never did get an answer to that question. Instead, when Merlin kissed him, Harry got the feeling that his heart would probably pound right out of his chest.  
  
Good thing he was already in a hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may not be the best thing I've ever written, but I think it's up there. Oh boy. 
> 
> Sadly, you all, like Merlin, will have to wait for the date. It should be up later this week, though, so nothing too terrible. Emphasis on "should", though.


	13. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Merlin, if asked at the moment, would say that he didn’t regret a thing.

Merlin, if asked at the moment, would say that he didn’t regret a thing.

Well, “no regrets” was a bit of a strong phrase. There were several things that Merlin wished he had done better. But at the moment, sitting in the coffee shop, things were great. And “great” was all Merlin ever wanted. 

“Did anything interesting happen while I was unconscious?” Harry sipped his coffee. 

“Uh…” Merlin said.  _ Mostly just spiraling into a dark abyss consisting of a lack of hope. _ “Well, actually, yes.”

“Do tell,” Harry said, quirking his eyebrow as a form of pseudo-punctuation in the visual conversation. 

“Oh, Harry, it’s a company policy not to gossip. You might be fired for this behavior,” Merlin deadpanned.

Harry chuckled. “Shush, Merlin. Blue Moon Blooms would not function without me.” 

Well, he wasn’t wrong. “So, about a week after the incident, I was feeling slightly optimistic-” 

“Try again, Merlin. We both know you’re not ever optimistic.” 

“So, about a week in, I was feeling  _ less pessimistic than usual _ . Better?” Harry nodded, so Merlin continued. “I thought that, just in case you recovered sooner, I should maybe… get you some flowers to cheer up the bland hospital room.”

“Aww. Of  _ course  _ you did.” Merlin cheeks warmed up at the fond smile playing at the ends of Harry’s lips. 

“I picked some flowers from the greenhouse and I made an honestly  _ very  _ lovely bouquet, and I set it on a table so I’d remember to bring them. A few hours later, Eggsy came by so we could visit, and three quarters of the way there I realized, ‘Shit. I forgot the damn flowers.’ The bouquet was mostly forget-me-nots.” 

Merlin’s embarrassment was entirely worth it once Harry laughed. “Merlin,  _ you’re adorable _ .” 

“But my reputation! It’s ruined… I’ll never be the intimidating flower wizard again. Instead, I’m doomed to forever be the useless gay who forgets the forget-me-nots.” 

Yeah. Merlin didn’t regret a thing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....It's over. I did it. 13 chapters isn't a lot, but fuck it, I'm proud of myself. This is one of the first big projects I've had in a while, and I did it. 
> 
> I'm going to be honest here: I fully intend to return to this universe. But this is the end of the story for now, mostly because I wanted to post the final chapter soon, just in case I die from this bad cold I've managed to catch. (So if I stop responding to comments, it's because I've probably perished, haha.) I hope you've enjoyed this! :)


End file.
